What happens if my husband is just not interested in sex at all? He never asked to have sex since we got married and is not turned on even if I’m naked?

I’m really sorry you’re going through that, and that’s a huge red flag to me. It may be low testosterone, but given that he’s not interested in you naked, I think it’s something deeper than that. It could be that he’s homosexual; it could be that he’s really into pornography, and thus can’t respond to an actual woman; it could be that he has deep seated emotional issues that aren’t resolved. A few posts that may help: Lets look at some of the possible causes, and we see if there is one that borders your situation. Click the button below to continue.

Marriage red flags–all of us have marriage issues, but how do you know if an issue crosses the line into dangerously weird territory?

I receive many emails from women in crisis, and today, on Top 10 Tuesday, I thought I’d share 10 marriage and sex red flags that really shouldn’t be ignored.

Often we don’t realize when something is off, because we’re new at this whole marriage thing, and most of us don’t share personal and intimate details with our friends. So how can you know if something that worries you is actually a red flag for something quite serious?

What is a Sex or Marriage Red Flag?

It means that this is a situation which will not get better by you being nicer, by you being more understanding, by you trying to talk it through with him, or by you being more patient.

This is something which is a serious issue that will likely require a third party, like a trained counselor or a pastor, to help you.

If you ignore it, your marriage will only get worse, and your husband will only fall deeper and deeper into sin or more and more away from God and his family (depending on what the issue is).

In this post, I’m not talking about abuse–though this, too, will not get better on their own and will need a third party. Here’s a post specifically for information on emotionally destructive relationships. I want to talk more about sexual red flags in marriage.

These problems represent an issue that your husband has–not something that you have caused, and so you cannot make it better. You can, however, make it more likely that he will get the help he needs by taking it seriously. And that is the most loving thing you can do.

For information on how to involve a third party, read my post on being a spouse instead of an enabler, or check out my book 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage.

My heart aches for women in these situations, because they often are so taken back with surprise that their husbands are acting this way, and they truly don’t know what to do. I’m sorry that some of these seem so extreme, but I’ve had multiple emails about each of these types of situations, and I know that there are women dealing with these things. So let’s get it all out in the open today!